Memories...
Friday, September 02, 2005
i have a feeling this is going to be a long blog...
tomorrow is ROP camp. I cant sleep, becoz a bundle of memories just keep flashing back to me..memories of ROP last year..esp with me and diana, and alex..ROP can change a lot of things..i realize that last year i didnt really know diana and alex before the camp..but after those 3 days around the entire island of singapore, e 2 of them became e closest friends in 25th mc together with me..and we have been there for each other, sharing problems with one another for e entire year..
i love 25th..realli..sometimes it makes me so sad to know that i m stepping down soon..and its even sadder on a personal note, becoz i m re-running for 26th, which means i m not in e rop com, and a lot of things cant be known to me. Which i totally understand...
i dunno why..i just feel very sad deep inside tonight..steven, beng, ning, diana baby, chonghan, giang, peipei, alex, mary, yuimin, alvin, yanyan, gerri, junie, suuuzzii..i realize how much fun, blood, pain, sweat and tears i have with this group of 15 people...who have been such a big part of my life for e past year..and even though its like only one year, it seems to me that we have all been together for years....having been thru so many days and nights together...
i m shedding tears now..i dunno why..in fact i always dunno why i tear easily. Todae durin my GEK1006 tutorial, our tutor told us to write one attribute of yourself which you cannot understand why. I wrote the word "emotional", becoz i dunno why i m so emotional for the past 22 years. Maybe its becoz of the way i m brought up..
e past few weeks have been a roller-coaster of emotions for me, and i know it prob wont end perhaps till e entire elections is over...months ago, i thought about not re-running until arts camp and fop came along and touched me so deeply...
crying very badly now..i hate it when i m like this..i dunno why..very badly..my emotions are overwhelming me now..
sometimes i feel so lonely about re-running dear blog, esp when suzzi left..e rest of the 25th are able to sit around the clubroom table, talking about what they are going to do after they step down..suzzi going for dance and cheerleading, mary s goin for soccer training, chonghan will settle down more with shuyi, alex will continue intensively for dragonboat,yuimin s enjoyin hall life, steven and gang will have lotsa lotsa dota sessions, the list goes on and on...
but for me,i am going to re-run. And i feel that i m stuck in a zone in between the outgoing 25th and the incoming 26th, stepping down and feeling sad, yet stepping up again in a completely new com..
i feel touched and encouraged by all the people who asked me to run for president, every single one of them, who have the faith in me and believe in me..already criticisms have been struck at me, and i realize that i cannot possible please everyone in this world.. but as long as i know there are people out there who wants me to go for it and who believe in me, i will do my best for them. I cant let the new 26th down and i will not let Arts Club down. And if people ever wants to judge us, judge us when we step down next year, not when we are stepping up. Everyone needs a chance to learn and to shine when they are in a new job and position.
*be ridtzified* :
my rop camp super good rite?
Hocky:
yah..ridz..
Hocky-
crying now leh..
*be ridtzified* :
relac.....
*be ridtzified* :
cryin is passion
Hocky-
realli..
Hocky:
u know..
Hocky-
i really will miss my 25th..
Hocky-
realli..
*be ridtzified* :
yeah man its a process
*be ridtzified* :
i loved my first com the best
*be ridtzified* :
in my second com it was about leadership more than it was about frens
*be ridtzified:
i loved my first com
*be ridtzified*:
my best frens came all from my first com
Hocky-
feel so lonely sometimes rid..and feel so vulnerable this period of time, but yet i have to stay strong
Hocky:
esp in front of the 26th
Hocky-:
rest of 25th are talking about their new lives after mc etc etc,
*be ridtzified* :
yeah man its like dat
Hocky-:
i will miss them a lot a lot..
*be ridtzified* :
dats the burden of leadership
*be ridtzified* :
but den the rewards are enthralling
Hocky-
was it worth for u in the end rid?
Hocky-:
that has been a question
Hocky:
i have been askin
Hocky-:
myself everydae since i decided to re run
Hocky-
deep inside my heart
*be ridtzified* :
u noe
*be ridtzified* ::
in the end at last years agm, i felt a sense of elevation'
*be ridtzified* :
a realisation that i had made good
*be ridtzified* :
even if u give me a 5.0 cap score to replace this commitment, i wil lstill choose this journey
Hocky:
realli ah rid..
Hocky-
thats heartening to know..
*be ridtzified* ::
yeah
*be ridtzified*
this is the journey of ur lifetime
*be ridtzified* :
it starts tommorrow
Hocky-
thanks for all yr support this period..i wont forget it..
Hocky-
i just hope that e faith of u and rudy in me
Hocky-:
is justified..
Hocky-
sometimes
Hocky-
i wake up all set to take on the world
Hocky-
and bringing arts club along
Hocky-:
sometimes
Hocky-:
i wake up asking myself why
Hocky-
i m doing all these things again
Hocky-:
sacrificing so much of my life
*be ridtzified* ::
well
*be ridtzified*:
the answer is there
*be ridtzified* ::
when u see the first og cheer at arts camp
*be ridtzified* :
when the first goal is scored in arts open
*be ridtzified* :
when the dean calls u and asks u how is arts club
*be ridtzified*:
when u wait in anticipation as arts fac lines up to do rag presentation
*be ridtzified*:
it is in these moments that gratification takes on a new definition
*be ridtzified* :
a coke cost 80 cents chicken rice 2.50, apple i book 1.7k
*be ridtzified* :
dignity of leadership = priceless
Hocky-
...
*be ridtzified* : ~
Hocky-
i think u are right rid..
Hocky-
such moments do are priceless..
Hocky-
thats why i cried at the end of arts camp..
*be ridtzified* :
yeah and dats the essence
*be ridtzified* :
at this point in time, when i am about to enter the workforce
*be ridtzified* :
i have more self-esteem and higher confidence than the majority of graduates
*be ridtzified* :
at the end of ur journey
*be ridtzified*
u will too
Hocky- One year on..Back to ROP camp..flooding memories..A bundle of feelings.. says:
..
Hocky- One year on..Back to ROP camp..flooding memories..A bundle of feelings.. says:
thanks ridz..
*be ridtzified* : ~to make your dreams come true, you have to stay awake~ says:
no prob
Hocky- One year on..Back to ROP camp..flooding memories..A bundle of feelings.. says:
i need to continue to believe in myself..and the new com..
Hocky- One year on..Back to ROP camp..flooding memories..A bundle of feelings.. says:
i cant let 26th down
*be ridtzified* : ~to make your dreams come true, you have to stay awake~ says:
yeah
*be ridtzified* : ~to make your dreams come true, you have to stay awake~ says:
dun worry
*be ridtzified* : ~to make your dreams come true, you have to stay awake~ says:
u have wad it takes-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
e conversation over msn touched me deeply....thank u ridz..for everything..
tomorrow is a new beginning, the start of a new journey.
