Memories...
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Everything's eventual?
Sunday, July 29, 2007
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AN EVENTFUL WEEKEND
I woke up really early on Sat morning and zoomed over to Orchard Cineleisure for the 9th Bukit Panjang YEC Biennial Meeting..In a nutshell its kinda like our Arts Club AGM haha, where the current com steps down after 2 years in office. Finally, I have officially joined the 9th Bukit Panjang YEC and officially be a part of PAYM hee. =)
After the very short BGM, there was a free screening of Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix..haha, as mentioned last time, i didnt really like the movie very much, but somehow i stayed on with the other YEC members to watch. It was also the last movie i had watched with Shuang Er...
Went to Queensway to buy a new pair of Umbro soccer boots after the movie. Ta dah!! n_n
And at night, had a great mahjong session with Da niao, Ernie, and Jingxiang at Jingxiang's house. He's back for a few months before going to fly off to UK in Sept. We talked a lot bout Felicia Chin coz apparently, she's his VJC classmate haha! But it was a great time catching up with old friends again.
Woke up on Sundae afternoon to Sooozie's call. Had to rush down to Waterloo Street to watch Siying's broadway musical performance. Supporting another old friend hee. She sang really well and it was really a great experience! My 1st time watching a broadway performance..And again..memories flood back.....
Rushed down to Chinese High for another football game and the debut of my new boots!! n_n I felt really good running around in the new boots and unleashing my restrained energies for the past week! haha..coz i havent jogged in a week..either becoz of the bad weather or i just got so tired when i reached home after rag or due to laziness.
Had dinner with da niao at Al Azhar....another place with a lot of memories.
And finally back at home on a lovely Sundae night, having some me-time to myself. =)
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Sometimes we laugh it away
Sometimes we just can't hold it back
With you it's easy in my ride
I wish this day could last forever
I 've been waiting patiently
For you to come back to me
It's been a short eternity
Since you've left and gone away
When I' m without you
The waves crash upon the shore
Like time erasing
Everything we had before
I don't want to lose this life
(Like) watching the sun slip into the sea
When will you return with my heart?
It's like all I have are memories
Slowly this brings me
the sweetest high like
staring at the sunrise
seeing you arrive at my door
I' ve been waiting patiently
For you to come back to me
It's been a short eternity
Since you' ve left and gone away
I used to watch you sleep
and I held you like a child
I remember you on the beach
that seem so far out of reach
I don't want to lose this life
(Like) watching the sun slip into the sea
When will you return with my heart?
It's like all I have are memories
Slowly this brings me
the sweetest high like
staring at the sunrise
seeing you arrive at my door.. (c^-^c)
When the clock struck 12..it would have been...
...
Would have been...
Wherever u are now..
My only wish tonight is that you are happy.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Met up with Joy and Sooze at Settlers Cafe at Holland V where i had a great time playing funny board games with them haha! It was really fun and we just have to do it again soon man heh..
WEnt back to school after that to meet Ruby and Bit to discuss bout Elections..
After which i had supper with gracey, and we talked and talked till 1 am! ahaha!
Was also good to see Rid todae.. n_n
And its Fridae le..
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Was chatting with Alvin during Rag just now (finally finished cutting the remaining 80 cans todae!! heh), and it dawned on me how we kept subconsciously saying that this is our "last" Rag, "last" O Week, "last" this, "last" that etc...
And while there are so many "lasts" for incoming year4s like us, I figured that on the other end of the spectrum, there are and will be so many "firsts" for the freshies... Their "first" Arts Camp, "first" Rag, "first" O Week, "first" this, "first" that etc....
Its called the passage of time. I have always told many people that at the end of the dae, leaders will leave and move on. But what will always remain is the Club. And new leaders will rise. That is what we call leadership renewal and succession.
Which is why it has been really heartwarming to me, when I see this year's freshies being so enthu and garang for Rag. Most importantly, I see most of them happily doing Rag, opening up, and making friends both within themselves and with seniors. This augurs well for the future, esp if this year's Rag does well again, as the freshmen ll noe the standard to upkeep for the future.
And of coz, among 1 of these freshies will rise a future leader to lead Rag 2008. And perhaps a future Arts Club President as well hee =)
I have been really busy the past few daes. And it ll be getting even more hectic in the coming daes n weeks. In between settling House stuff for O Week, planning for the Elections, preparing to send applications for internships in the Dec holidaes, joining Bukit Panjang Youth Executive Committee officially (with the BGM this Sat finally!), catching up with old friends, I have also tried to squeeze out at least a few hours each dae to go down to help out with Rag.
Bracing myself mentally for the exhaustion which ll come during O Week period..coz durin e dae i ll have to do lotsa ra-raing, and then evening/ night onwards go over to Rag site to help out. I noe what to expect becoz this was exactly what i did when i was year2 then, during Xuzi's O Week and Jianwu's Rag. REally shagged back then man..and frankly, when u reach year4, even though yr experience level is high but your energy level does go down significantly.
But in any case, i wanna leave my last FOP with no regrets. n_n
And behind everything in the corner of my heart, I am..and still am..waiting..waiting patiently...
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
For all your words of encouragement, concern and support todae: Chonghan, Bobsie, Bit bit, Jianwu, Wanping, Gracey, Joy, Eunice, Clement Black, Xiaohongzi, Applie, Shifty and your representatives (haha), and yes even u Yong Soon. =)
Some of u called, some of u dropped a msg, some of u dropped by, some of u invited me out..regardless, i just wanna say a big thank u to every single one of u, for extending your hand of friendship and companionship. It means a lot to me. The Incredible Hock never forgets the people who were there for him at his darkest hours.
Woke up with my right shoulder in pain. Probably due to my sleeping position hah. But thankfully, as the dae passes, the pain gradually subsided.
Had an enjoyable time doing Rag todae. n_n Wow, its like only 19 daes to Rag Day 2007...time flies.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Yup, i m officially back from reservist.. Must say that i had a great time with my army friends, and I think we ll miss each other till the next in-camp haha! I appreciate their support, advice, and company as well during the last 3 daes of ICT, where it was extremely tough on me emotionally.
Also delighted that i cleared my ippt, and managed to clock 11: 01 min for my 2.4km run. Immediately used the $ i earned to zeng my bike and to buy 2 new bike helmets! =)
Went for soccer todae at Chinese High again with all my old mates and 2 dreadful things occured! 1st of all, the sole of my left soccer boot came off! In any case, the collective condition of my boots was terrible, and i ll definitely need to get new boots by this week. Looks like a trip to Queensway is on the cards.
2ndly, i strained my right shoulder muscle as I went for a header just now and landed awkardly! Initially the pain was so sharp that i thought i had torn a ligament or worse still, faced shoulder dislocation! Thankfully, our group has quite a no of doctors haha like Norman, who reassured me that it was just a torn muscle. But still, my right shoulder hurts whenever i raise my right arm, and most likely i wont b able to do pullups for at least a week. Xianz.
Met up Soozie for dinner and we talked from 8 pm till almost midnight. Thanks for being there bro. =)
Also had a long chat with Joy over the phone just now. Thanks for calling. I appreciate your concern.
Feeling really drowsy now. Havent slept much for the past few daes, and also woke up super early todae to help out in some volunteer work with the CHEERS family carnival organized by Bukit Panjang RC. Must say that i had quite some enjoyment in watching the various parents bringing their kids here to have fun, esp how the various fathers lifted their kids up at my game stall. And then cheering for their children as they scored. I thought it was really sweet.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
SAYING GOODBYE TO THE WOMAN I LOVE...
Had my last dinner with the love of my life.
The girl whom i had hoped to marry one day,
And still hope to marry one day.
Take care! n_n
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Another bout of tears flowed.
I thought they had already dried up.
I was wrong.
Friday, July 20, 2007
I ask myself what is left?
My mind replies,
Pain.
Grief.
And Sorrow.
But my heart cannot answer,
For a broken heart cannot speak.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Had a great dinner at Clarke Quay last night, plus funny games at Pitstop Cafe. You guys noe who u are ahahhaha, u all ROCK!! hee! =p
After which me and Princess Shuang Er went to catch Harry Potter at Vivo..duh..i must say it wasnt very thrilling or captivating..maybe Harry Potter fans ll like it i m not sure, but i felt the 1st 2 episodes were much better, or maybe becoz they were more refreshing then.
I have been returned as the Returning Officer for this year's 28 MC elections, and i m really honoured by the appointment. =) And i have formed my Elections Com liao hee within hours of being notified. I guess its pretty much the last chance that i ll get to work with some of the 26th MC members in a uni project, so i m really excited bout it! My only regret is that i am unable to form a larger com coz of procedural constraints, otherwise i wud have asked all the 26th lao laos back hahah!
Yup..looking foward to ensuring a smooth and impartial elections this year, and a smooth return of our successors' successors - the 28th MC!
So long for now..i m going early to ecp to prepare for Spartan bbq, and then straightaway goin back to camp from ecp. Phew.
To all my friends, hope u guys have a rocking week ahead!
And to the O Week organizers and councilors, really hope that Pre-Camp wud be a blast! =p
Saturday, July 14, 2007
hahaha, yesh i m back. Finally able to book out this afternoon, and as i told Gerard just now, one's brain and mind becomes 10 times more active when one reaches home heh heh.
But hey, i must say i have really enjoyed my reservist so far. Was quite xian the few daes before going in, but seeing all my old army scout friends once again really made everything so much more fun haha! We spent lotsa time talking cock as usual, catching up, and erhem, a lot of male bonding. And it was a strange joy for me when i took over my armoured vehicle hee. Lotsa old memories came back again.
I ve been super active and busy every single min since i booked out. Went a lot of places, seen a lot of old friends, and going out again in 10 min time. And yesh, there is still the Spartan bbq tom ah woo! The super xian part is that i ll have to leave early tom, but well, it ll still be good if i am able to successfully get the house to meet up and chill out..so yeah~ =)
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
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RESERVIST TOM TILL 21ST JULY..
Took out all e old stuff just now..n all set for tom's reservist. Well, almost.
Have to say that i havent been in the best of moods for the past few daes, reason being i just keep feeling very xian about going back for reservist, somemore for almost 2 weeks. The good thing is that i shud be able to come out on Sat afternoon and then go back by Sun night or Mon morning again.
But still..sibei xian man. I was telling Princess Shuang Er that the feeling of being an army boy comes back all over again..that sucky feeling of waiting to book in. Sometimes i look back and wonder how we lads managed to pass thru the 2 and a half years man haha.
Freedom is a really precious commodity. Most people dun realize how valuable it is, until it has been taken away from them.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Todae was a most fantastic dae. =) Went down to UCC with my family to support my brother for commencement. haha, i m sure my parents feel proud deep down inside for him, and i m really glad for that. Took lots of photos as well.
But thats not all. To my utmost pleasant delight, many of my friends were graduating on the same dae and ceremony as well! Rayner boi, beng beng, ji dan tou, siew fan, marriee, junie..And to add to that, diana baby, ken, peipei, yaozhong, timmy, kevin wee, chonghan, all came down too! Haha, esp funny n heartwarming to see was how ken n the other oldies who had graduated, put on their old graduating gowns together with the fresh grads and took lotsa photos!! And of coz, me and chong were having lotsa fun clowning around haha! Oh, we even had a chance to take 25th MC picture todae haha! Coz a lot of us from 25th were present todae, including Alex who dropped by as well!
I always like coming to UCC, esp going into the inside of the theatre. =) It guess it just brings back a lot of personal pleasant memories..best of which was Freshmen Inauguration Ceremony last year, where i was on stage with all the other Club Presidents and the various Deans in NUS. It was a great honour and 1 of the proudest moments in my life then, esp when the freshies cheered loudly when my name was called. Haha, Reuben ll understand what i mean when his turn comes during FIC 2007.
How sweet and wonderful it would be for me, if i could have the chance to address the crowd at my commencement ceremony next year..haha..
Anyway after the commencement, chonghan, me, timmy, kevin, pei pei and yz went to holland v for nice cold tea, before popping for some yummy katong laksa. We had a great time talking cock, bitching (heh heh), and of coz, catching up on old times. Glad to noe that the 4 of them seem to be happy n doing well..
Lesson to be learnt todae? Haha, must really enjoy our last year as a student man!! Time flies by so rapidly like an express train when one is in uni, so much that before u noe it, u ll be throwing yr graduation hat into the air loh!
Saturday, July 07, 2007
1) You talk with freshies and chonghan is not in the top 3 list of yandaos for Arts camp 07. What the hell!!?? My buddy has been ranked in the top 3 for the past 3 years lor.
2) You dun even make it to the top 50 list. HAHAHAHA! Unlike 2 years ago heh..
3) You start preferring beer to housepour/ spirits.
4) You rather have a quiet night at home or a quiet drink at night instead of going Mambo night.
5) You dun get the jokes of freshies.
6) The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.
7) You ride at 70 km/h and u tell yrself, "woa ho, thats gd enough for me dude~"
8) Afternoon naps become a need, not a want.
9) Your temper becomes more mellow. *Meow~*
10) YOU CAN REMEMBER HOW MUCH TRANSFORMERS MEAN TO U WHEN YA RE A KID WHILE OTHERS HAVENT EVEN SEEN THE ORIGINAL CARTOONS BEFORE.
Ahh, but the saving grace which gracey reminded me yest was that once we stepped into the working world, we become the youngest again. Kinda starting like recruits in the army or freshies in uni all over again. So we shud enjoy this feeling of being the oldest students in school for 1 last year, before becoming the youngest working adults in 1 year's time.
In any case, i always believe that its important in life to be young at heart. =) A world without child-like playfulness ll be so bland and boring.
Friday, July 06, 2007
These daes, it seems that most of the time i have been talking to juniors, so its really refreshing when i get to talk to friends of my batch or old friends from the past.
Going back for reservist from next Wed 10th July till 21st July..was telling bobsie just now the feeling i have these past few daes suck man. Its that kind of feeling last time in army, where u noe u have to book in soon after a long weekend. And its super xian, coz i was thinking of arranging a Spartan chalet, but looks like i ll have to postpone till after my reservist liao. Plus the bbq at East Coast next Sundae, i m quite worried that we ll have to book in on Sun night, which ll be damn xian for me. Anyway overall the feeling of going back to ICT for 10 daes really making me quite xian, e only plus point being that i can catch up with my army frenz again. Plus i ll have to miss O Week Pre-camp, which i m quite sure ll be really fun haha. Thankfully, i ll be able to attend the honours briefing on the 18th July morning thanks to Dr Alan Chong's help.
Doing rag todae brings back a lot of memories, but i guess the feeling is just different le. Very few familiar faces from last year..n i see the current com really trying very hard as well, but as always, problems arise every year. And i feel its really impt to address the problems early before the problems snowball until there's only 1 or 2 weeks left to Rag dae itself.
It was heartwarming to see many of the freshies so enthu and powered up for Rag though. =)
The real test for Management Committees come every year at FOP. How each individual MC member rise up to the challenge is always very interesting to observe.
Sometimes its not about whether u like or dun like to do something. Its about your duty as a leader and MC member.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Yest was 1 happening dae ahha. I went to watch transformers with Saga at cineleisure (it was a real good show!! And brought back so many childhood memories!!) and had a bit of drink with them at Pastamania..then it turned out that Sephiroth and Starsky were ktving at cine as well ahah!
Yeah, so talked a bit of cock with Starsky and then went over to Shaggy at Village (e former Marche) where more talking cock ensued. Starsky came over as well, and it was quite re nao la heh. Yah man! And some of the freshies really look different in civilian attire haha! Almost couldnt recognize some of them!
And so qiao lah, i was with Princess Shuang Er on Sundae night whacking lotsa of nice dishes at Village, then yest night eat Village again, and Sun night might be there again with Saga at the same place again haha!
Yeah, but in any case, its nice to talk with the freshies and councilors, and get to noe them better. =) Like i said earlier, the thing bout being house ic is that its difficult to really get to noe every single person well as compared to at og level, so i really do appreciate these little gatherings and dinners where its easier to interact with them.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Haha, i guess its finally time for me to wrap up this final chapter of this amazing journey which has taken me from year 1 to year 4...and which have left so many unforgettable memories each time for me.
As a freshie in June 2004, I honestly felt that out of the 3 Camps i attended, e other 2 being PA Camp and Sports Camp, Arts Camp was the least fun. Perhaps coz it was held at PGP and was too short then..But still, that camp was the start of how i got to know friends such as Chonghan, suzie, diana, eunice, ken, song kwang, fiona, etc.
Decided to run for PD when i got into 25th MC, and really aimed to revolutionize it and make it 10 times better. And so in June 2005, Artstasy was finally materialized..and there were soo many massive changes in programmes..and the spirit of the camp was really great and ended in a touching moment for a lot of pple including myself..The camp became like a baby to me, as i witnessed 1st hand how it could touch and change the lives of so many people, both freshies and councilors.
Moving on to June 2006, it was another interesting experience as i was the President this time, meaning that it was better for me to take a step back behind the Organizing scene. Became an OGL for the 1st time, of Shakira (u guys rock!! heh) and going thru the camp from a different angle. Had a lot of fun and strengthened bonds with the other S House councilors haha..It was really a huge camp as well..close to 288 freshies, meaning it was harder to bond each OG as it was so much larger than the previous year.
FASS Foward to June 2007...haha, and this time i was a House IC for Spartan blue house!! I m so glad i didnt regret trying out for the role..i have to admit that initially, i face certain apprehensions within myself. Chief of which was whether i had the energy, passion, fire, ra-raness and craziness as a lao lao going back..and also dealing with e reality that most of my fellow S House buddies n councilors last time such as Xiao xian xian, bian bian, michele, swilin, yuimin, Joy, Weiliang, Marriee Ivy, Jono, Eric, Daniel, Felicia, Amy, Peiyong, Weilong etc etc wont be back this time. They were such strong councilors really!! Thank god for egg head, joshua, leon, kimberly, dave, and Fangling the familiar faces haha!
Nevertheless, i went into Arts Camp 07 with what is 1 of my greatest weapons in life: An open mind. =) And i m really glad and grateful to the new batch of S House councilors who really stepped up and proved themselves. I thought i was really lucky to have super zai OGLs this time in Gerald, Harris, Shafiq, Egg head, and Joel, who were really responsible and put in so much effort to bond their respective OGs. Haha, though i must say that the councilors this time may not be as garang in leading cheers, but i think being a good councilor at the end of the dae shouldnt just be about being able to lead cheers. If any one of u councilors are reading this, i just wanna thank u once again for everything and a great job done!! =) I m also glad to noe new frenz such as the nu3 ren2 jun1 tuan2, my ex-Shakira freshies now Starsky councilors much better, and so many others including Mao mao, huixiang, leona, yan guang, daphne, kim, so many many la haha!
And of coz to the freshies this year, i really hope they had a great time, regardless of which house or og they are from. =) Being a house ic means u get to see, observe, and noe many more freshies, but it also means that u dun get to noe most of them deep enough, as half of the time, we gotta run around and join different ogs, and sometimes at other places settling stuff. Nonetheless, its great to see that most of them truly enjoyed themselves at the end. I was pleasantly surprised to count over 10 freshies crying during the circle of friendship..haha..guess some of them were really touched..which speaks volumes for the camp. I mean, seriously, which other Orientation camp in Singapore can u go and come back crying on the last dae?
I guess it was really quite touching in e end..when so many pple broke down. Didnt expect Chonghan and Ben to cry as well..and actually, when the 8 of us house ics were practising behind the function hall, rehearsing on e 2 songs, fangling, michelle, julie and shuning were oredi holding back plenty of tears. And needless to say about the councilors, O com members, ex 26th MC members, Jeremy irons, and the 27th mc members...This kind of experience and scene are things u ll never forget for the rest of your life, long after u graduate. I always tell my juniors that life in uni is not just about mugging for that piece of cert (which so many pple have todae anyway), becoz when u graduate, the things u hold onto are not those lecture notes or capscores, but the friendships and the memories of the camps, events etc u attended in yr 3 or 4 years in uni. Just ask those graduating now, or who have just graduated.
And of coz, a special note to Chonghan, Julie, Little india, michelle, john, ben, and fangling, a special grp of friends whom i had so much fun and banter with as fellow House ics. I always knew since year1 as freshies that Chonghan and i can have lotsa fun and rubbish together, and we re really glad that we could bring it together and showcase our rubbish and stamp collection to the freshies and this year's camp. I never forget those daes back at Artstasy 05, when me as PD then, and Chonghan as FOP Chair then, did so much crazy at-the-spur-of-the-moment stuff such as hula hoop competition, talk cock competition, sing-song competition, dancing competition etc. haha! I was thus really grateful and happy that there could be a reunion of some sorts for us this year at Arts Camp..and of coz, i was really impressed as well with 1st-time house ics michelle, julie, john and ben. I thought they did a fantastic job considering they are year1s goin on to year2s and its their 1st time they re doin house ics. You guys absolutely rock!! n_n
I said before the camp that john and harris had a freaking lot of potential and i m so glad that both of them were given a platform to shine and rose up to the occasion. John as a house ic and harris as 1 of the best OGLs in the entire camp.
Haha, but really, the fellow house ics really gave me plenty of cheer and happiness this time round, esp when we sit and talk cock together during meals or when the other camps are busy playing station games. Guess there exists a special bond within us, as it is every year with the other house ics. And sometimes it can be really tiring trying to lift up the morale and spirits of not just the freshies, but also the councilors as well! haha. And i also realize that when u re a house ic, u really feel very very strongly for yr house and the house collectively means a lot to u.. =)
Well, i guess at the end of the dae, the camp was fantastic and really left a very sweet memory for me, esp as it is my last ever Arts Camp. While i dun like to make comparisons, esp as i always emphasize that every year there are different pros and cons for each Arts camp, but i do feel that this year's spirit of the camp was as strong and similiar to 2 years ago, n considering that Jeremy irons led a really young O Com, they did really really well. n_n
Leaders come and go, but what is most important in the long run is that the spirit of the club and the camp traditions are being carried on. From what i witnessed, i m silently confident that the camp ll continue to do well in the years to come, with strong leadership from future MCs. haha.. I m sure the legacies of Arts Camp will continue.
Well, the journey ends here for me....
Or does it?
Hee, the end of an journey is the beginning of another for me..esp when i m an adventurer remember???!! :p
Hint: Pirate Ship, here i come!!! Land AHOYYY for the Big O!!!!
Monday, July 02, 2007
MY NUS ARTS CAMP STORY..
Thursday, June 09, 2005
This is gonna be a long blog. Looking back one day later, so much emotions and thoughts emerged for me just after 2 days of pre-camp and 3 nights of preparations. From the extreme highs to the extreme lows. Wow, what a roller-coaster ride.
Preparations for pre-camp for me began on a Sunday afternoon, when i rushed back to school to brief the House ICs and DPDs. Previously had been a little hazy with the roles of House ICs and how to connect with them. I was thus extremely encouraged by the enthusiasm and spirit of Slyvia, Ivan, Charmaine, and Swilin. (In fact, throughout the later 2 days, seeing the House ICs grow in confidence and unite their respective houses was a great source of comfort, encouragement and happiness for me and the DPDs.)
I took a long long time to select and handpick the House ICs, becoz firstly, this group of people need to have that something special to be able to bond an entire house, and to ra ra the crowd. You can guide the House ICs on their roles, but u cannot teach them on the ground what to do exactly. A lot is down to their own initiative and charisma. Secondly, some of them were initially against the idea of being House ICs and a lot of effort has to be put in and persuade them to take up this challenge.
Got angry during the night, becoz a lot of people were late and didnt account properly and earlier. Was very disappointed with some people. Was also the first time in Uni and Arts Club that i snapped at people during a meeting, becoz i felt i had enough of people being late. Imagine sleeping so little every night, coming to school so early after the previous long night negotiating with the planet paradigm manager, and then seeing people repeat the same mistake which has been emphasized over and over again.
Steven came up to me after the meeting and commented me for reprimanding the com. I think he totally understood how i felt. (Later after the pre-camp night at the beach he would tell me and xuzi that he went thru the same shit that we went thru, last yr as the o week pd.)
First day of pre-camp came. There were good and bad points. Seeing the councillors stream in, every single one of them, encouraged us. Later on, the feeling of Arts Camp came back again, that familiar feeling which made me so determined to organize it this year, and bring this feeling and spirit back to everyone again, be it people in the MC, Arts Club, seniors, councillors and freshies.
Seeing the councillors bond by night time was heartwarming, really heartwarming.
A bit of disagreement came here and there, and i was stuck in between.
Rudy's advice for me to take a step back during pre-camp hit right on the spot. I was able to see more clearly what went right and wrong, what could have been done better, and the dynamics of
everyone involved with the camp.
Debriefing on the first night wasnt easy. Again, i felt i had to be brutally honest, becoz i felt some things had to be said or else they wouldnt be resolved. I gave a scolding again, something which i fucking hate to do all my life, becoz i know the feeling of being scolded sucked big time. Had my fair share of being screwed during YLTC in my jc days, and in my army days as a trooper, so trust me when i said tat i know how it feels.
If i have to be a bad guy and point out all the bad things to people for the sake of the camp, i will do it. For months since taking up Arts Camp, i have been very patient and never scolded anyone in the com. When the stakes are so high now, i have to be strict with com discipline, becoz if com discipline is not there, there ll be a chain and snowball effect for the entire camp, and certain people will continue to not take things seriously.
Did my share of apologies after the debriefing to some people, becoz i am no saint myself and committed mistakes as well.
Told don to buy me a packet of skittles for supper, those nice chewy sweets ALWAYS have the effect of keeping me from smoking. If i can go thru the entire arts camp without touching a single stick, i ll be proud of myself. So far, so good.
Thankfully, second day of pre-camp went much much better. It was again, heartwarming to see the councillors returning, especially when you know that many of them, including own friends like jiayin, joy, slyvia, johan were tired and some even feeling unwell. People who made the effort to come down and show their support and be on time...Really appreciate that.
Seeing the 4 houses slug it out during Gladiator and cheering each other on was the highlight of the day for me.
An incident happened at the beach which made a lot of parties upset. My initial reaction was quite impulsive, and i almost wanted to fucking whack the little ah beng right smack in the face. Too bad i didnt bring my helmet along. Little brats like them think they are so tough, but when you actually confront these people, 90 percent of the time they back off. Which was what happened.
Felt sad that a lot of parties were wronged. Steven didnt deserve to be wronged, suzi didnt deserve to be wronged, nobody deserved to. End of the day, it was a combination of circumstances and each person's personal view of the first step to take during that incident which led to the episode. Initially i thought suzi wasnt right, but looking back, i realized together with steven tat suzi was probably the person who reacted the most calmly among the 3 of us, but his intentions were misunderstood.
I am at fault myself, for saying impulsive things not only at that moment, but earlier during the day as well. I sincerely am grateful to don for pointing that out to me during debrief, becoz i think its the first time in years that he actually told me that i have made a mistake. Friends who dare to say that you are wrong are friends really worth keeping.
After the debrief, i remained at the beach with suzi and steven. I couldnt move, and neither could suzi. Knowing that suzi was wronged and feeling so upset, knowing that pre-camp had come to a successful conclusion, reminisicing what had happened the past few days, it was all too much to me.
Tears welled up in my eyes and down my face. I didnt understand totally why they flowed. A combination of so many things. During the first night pre-camp debriefing, when i mentioned that i hate to scold people and scolding close friends normally makes me cry in the aftermath, i caught one or two people rolling their eyes. As i sat on the beach with the 2 of them and thought about all those things i said e past 2 days, i just couldnt control myself.
It is not fun or enjoyable to scold people, especially when these people are some of your closest friends. Sometimes u say things and end up inevitably offending these friends, yet u can only hope that these friends can see the big picture at the end of the day, of why sometimes i have to behave the way i did, or say the things i did. A lot of memories of YLTC 2000 land ex came into my mind as well..
Steven was there, and he had to console e two of us weeping around him. He has his own problems, and sometimes i think he 's the hardest one being hit. Just like us being PD, we could never show our emotional weaknesses in front of our committee, Steven as the President, could never show his emotional weaknesses in front of the MC. Sometimes, i know he spends certain nights crying in the clubroom, but yet he can never show it in front of us. Similiarly, as a PD, i cannot show my emotional vulnerability in front of my committee. Unfortunately, thats the way it has to be. Army teaches us that as well.
End of the day, pre-camp was a great learning lesson to me, and to everyone i m sure. Things look very positive in fact, and its such a warm feeling to be able to get everyone back into the mood for Arts Camp, and back into the mood of making new friends.
Today was a break for me, tomorrow meeting resumes in school and its back to preparations for the final push.
"The future depends on what we do in the present"
- Gandhi
| HOCK C r u i s e d A t 12:02 AM |
Saturday, June 18, 2005
"Everyday i take a step nearer to my dream......"
Bobby asked me the other night over msn, what my dream was. I hesitated in my answer, becoz my dream is so hard to put down in words...
6 months ago on Dec 29th 2004, I took up Arts Camp.
6 months later, with only 2 days to Arts Camp, I am filled with enormous and numerous feelings inside me. Excited, anxious, happy, anticipatory, so many so many feelings within. Doing my best to stay calm and control myself.
I always believe life is a path filled with dreams along the way, dreams which will guide you, and allow u to explore the meaning of life, and give u purpose in life.
I gave 6 months of my life to my dream- Arts Camp 2005.
For every single day since Dec 29th 2oo4, I think about the camp and how to make it better in every single aspect. Every single day. I mean it.
Sometimes i wake up from my sleep, having dreamt of the actual camp itself, and i will grin to myself.
Thats why the fact that the camp is so so near, keeps reminding me that the REAL dream is near, very near.
I was reading all my previous blog entries for the past months, and i realize how far the journey has gone..
There was a time when i had absolutely nothing concrete about Arts Camp except for pen and paper, dreams and visions.
Todae the stage is all set, everything is ready, everything that could be done has been done.
Looking back, so much has happened till todae. It was so heartwarming and encouraging to see all the councillors and house ICs working so hard and coming back the past few weeks to do mascots, bond, shoot video, house identities etc..
I cant thank these people enuff, becoz they gave me the strength to carry on.
Sometimes when i get so tired and sick of planning, I step out of the clubroom, and seeing the councillors put in their fair share of hard work, I tell myself that i cannot let these people down.
Neither can i let down my O Com.
That i must give the best camp to these people, and to the freshmen.
Everyone is in this together...and at the end of the day i hope this will be the start of a new beginning for everyone.
Shall not reveal my dream until the actual camp itself i think...Its realli hard to put it down in words...
This will be my last blog before the camp. Havent slept much the past 2 weeks, and the main event is coming up. I need whatever rest i can.
Sometimes i just fall asleep after lunch unknowingly...i owe my tuition kid too..havent been a very good or attentive tutor these days.
I wonder whether i will see life the same again after next Fri.
I wonder how after next Fri, the lives and memories of 400 people might change.
I m proud to say i have done whatever i can to try and make this camp a success for the past 6 months.
The rest, of what will unfold next, may not be in my hands anymore.
God Bless Arts Camp 2005- ARTSTASY.
"And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
- Abraham Lincoln
| HOCK C r u i s e d A t 5:05 AM |
Monday, July 04, 2005
REFLECTIONS ON ARTS CAMP 2005.......
wow..what can i say..cant be put down in words realli.
Best 5 days of my life, esp at the finale when i saw so many tears being shed and so many touching scenes. Moments like this will stay with you for the rest of your life. Kinda reminded me of OAC YLTC 2001..the 2 biggest projects and camps i have headed in my life.
i took so long to pen down all these feelings here..coz it realli took a while for everything to sink in for me, and also coz i went Sports Camp to chill out and help my Sports Club frenz for a week as a councillor.
The greatest satisfaction you can get as a PD is to see all the freshies enjoying the camp, and reaching a certain deep level of bond which will tie them across their Uni and future life. To see Arts Club full of life and spirit once again, to see new people coming in to help out and being able to reach them. To see new friendships forged, and see old friendships renewed.
To make everyone part of a family again.
Be it O Com members, MC members, affiliates, seniors, councillors, House ICs, newcomers, freshies.
I was so happy on the last dae. Becoz i realized i achieved what i set out to do and fufilled my dream. Even if there were things which could be improved on, at least i knew i gave my best and i gave absolutely everything that i could have given to the Camp.
I couldnt have thanked all the people who helped in this camp one way or another enough. Everyone contributed to the success of the camp- O Com, MC, House ICs, councillors, freshies. If anyone of you is reading this, i would just like to thank you once again.
And of coz to all my non-Arts and old friends who gave me the encouragement i needed as a human being. Some of u guys messages realli made my dae when i was down, esp from Aili, Chermaine, Kai Lee, Lynette and Jeryl.
My biggest, and possibly only regret during the camp, was the bash night. When i scolded min min. My temper was controlled and stable all the way for the camp only for that one fucking moment on that night. One fucking moment.
I opened my big mouth without being fair to her, and i made her so upset. Till todae, i still dunno how to make it up to her completely.
At that moment i thought i had to be the bad guy and take over, coz i was worried also that she might be unprepared for all the numerous drunkards creating a lot of problems.
I felt fucking terrible on the way back. Esp when i saw her so upset. And when i reached Eusoff Hall to hear Grace's comments, i couldnt control myself. I took my bike and rode off..I just wanted to be alone.
I rode to the loading bay at the forum, came down, lied on the ground, and just cried and cried. I couldnt move myself. Just lied there and let the tears flow. Smoking didnt help there and then. Drained. I felt so terrible and at that point of time, i felt like quitting and stepping down from everything once the camp is over, becoz i felt my own friend min min didnt deserve the kind of treatment i gave her, and also coz i asked myself why the fuck am i doing so much just to receive this kind of remark from my own dpd. I fucking cried till i thought i was going to die from crying.
Happened on sundae night Day Zero before the camp as well, coz of the Giang incident.
Such are the highs and lows of the camp for me.
At the end of the day, i m just glad everything came to a nice and happy conclusion. Grace wrote me a very touching letter when the camp ended which clarified things.
To see 300 people cheering in front of you, so passionate about their groups and the camp, is something which is priceless..memories which will stay with me till the dae i die realli.
Have i managed to change the lives of every single person who came for ARTSTASY 05? I have been asking myself that question everyday ever since the camp ended. And i think the answers wont be found so soon.
Raynard once told me that the success of Arts Camp can only be felt long after the camp ended. He told me in March 2005 that even till todae, 2 years after his Camp Feeeesh'03 ended, he is still asking himself whether his camp was a success.
Becoz maybe the true success of Arts Camp is valued by how much and how far the freshmen stay together and come back together as true friends for future Arts Club activities, and their future endeavors in life.
That to me, measures the real value and success of the camp.
And this will be a question i ll be asking myself for the next few years, and a question i would like my future Arts Camp PD to ask him or herself.
At least for now, i m glad that before i stepped down at the end of my term, i hoped to have managed to give Arts Club a really solid foundation to groom the next batch of leaders to take over. We have numerous talents at hand, no doubt about that, the real challenge is to convince these people to stay and take over the baton. Thats why i still have unfinished business with O Week, Rag, and e other FOP projects. To make sure we have a collective successful FOP for the freshmen.
I promised my president Steven that i ll give him a fucking great camp, i m glad i didnt let him down.
I just wanna thank everyone once again for everything deep down...all the 6 months of hard work has paid off.
hopefully the memories of the camp will stay with each and every single one of us forever :)
| HOCK C r u i s e d A t 7:19 AM |
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Thoughts about pre-camp...?
hmm...i must say 1st of all in general, it wasnt easy to totally hand over Arts Camp, my "baby" and something which meant so much to me, something which i spent 7 months of my life preparing and giving my best for...over to a whole new team of people. To be honest, it felt very wierd n awkard to be sitting among the councillors and the crowd, becoz it only seems like yesterdae to me when i was standing in front of the entire campers, talking jokes and inspiring the camp..leading the entire camp in cheers and ra-raing everyone as a whole..making all the big decisions and shaping the direction of the camp and the O Com..spending my time everydae thinkin of how best to improve every aspect of Arts Camp..
As a result, it felt very tricky and irks me whenever i see things which i feel are not right, and which could be improved on during the process of pre-camp..even little little things, or little comments which people may make out of joking intent, keeps me thinking..i was thus very affected by the comments of certain councillors on the 2nd day, so much that i didnt have the mood to cheer or laugh after that, unlike the 1st dae..Becoz i really want e best n everyone to be happy to come for the Camp, and if even 1 camper feels unhappy, i would want to know the reason why, whether is it the fault of the Club and organizers, and how best can we improve to make others feel comfortable with us..Arts Camp is very very important in reaching out to new people as well as the general Arts population..therefore its really no point if programmes are brillant but are done at the expense of connecting and building rapport with the campers..at least thats how i feel...
Yah..and i do feel a bit lost and unappreciated. N i m still asking myself whether i m part of the O Com or not (was slightly offended that people even wanted me to pay for the camp fees)..n whether i am considered an ex-officio for the camp..i rem last yr when i was e pd, i never once forgot bout the help and words that my advisors then, (rudy, ridhwan, and steven) gave me..even raynard (PD during 2003), and i never once forgot to thank each 1 of them for their help. Its really a sucky feeling, esp when i have been doin things behind the scenes, some things which the pd doesnt know but the cpos n caos know, some things which the dpds doesnt know but the pd know, some things which the cpos n caos know but the pd n dpds doesnt know, some things which the fop chairperson know but others dun..
And some things which i know but no one else knows.
Phew, its really tuff to say how i feel. Mayb thats why i took so long to blog down these thoughts. I m not doin things just so that i can earn the appreciation of others, as the things i do are part of my job and responsibilites as P. What i m tryin to say that is that i am human after all, i m not a machine, and i have feelings as well. Not even being worth a single simple word of "thanks" at the end of pre-camp makes me wonder at that point what the hell am i doin all these stuff for, and whether i m being taken for granted. It was actually quite hurting and xian. And i think, (very very sadly..) pre-camp has actually dampened my feelings for Arts Camp.
Having said all these, at e end of the day, i sat down and thought a lot to myself..n told myself to relax, chill, and remind myself of what my priorities are. N thinking about them allows me to stay more focused again..no doubt, i had my time, my golden days n limelight as Camp Pd last yr, but not others, thus there ll always come a time when the old have to step aside for the new. I was happy in a way that jj, lionel, lace, kelvin, guanz, shifty, ruby, bit bit, gandhi, little india, and many many other year1s (goin to yr2s) are steppin up and taking centre attention. These are the young people that needs to be blooded and groomed, becoz they are the future of Arts Club, not me. It would be selfish n short-sighted of me to continue hogging the limelight instead of giving way to these people.
At the same time, i reminded myself again tat my job as P is to make sure that everything goes on smoothly, n that things get settled into auto mode. N tat is e reason y i am a councillor as well, to provide feedback at the ground level, n to settle stuff at the school admin level so tat e O Com can concentrate on running the camp n the programmes. And i reminded myself that my job is not to wayang or do things in front of others, but to do things behind the scenes or when the chips are down (this goes for Rag as well). Unfortunately, some people just cannot see the big picture or see beyond the surface. And if they cannot do that, they will never be ready for true leadership.
Sining sent me a very touching sms 2 nights ago out of nowhere..encouraging me to hang in there, and reminding me that every fop is different. Indeed! Sometimes its little msgs like this which makes u sane and provides further meaning to the things u re doing..this is my 3rd fop, and i must always remind myself tat my role this time is different. Just like on e 2nd day of pre-camp, where i was called in by the Deans Office in the morning to settle some Rag stuff n had to miss a large part of the programmes..N there was also a friend who was upset in the morning n cried..which again nobody knows..and i had to try my best to console her..didnt want her to be upset for pre-camp..i recall that these were the kind of roles Steven had to play when he was P as well during fop2005..givin the necessary empowerment to the people in charge to run the show, while taking a backseat himself. "Clear up the mess left behind quietly", was what he used to teach me.
And it was really heartwarming to see so many former freshies from last yr's Arts Camp and FOP returning this yr to be councillors.. haha..it ll be really interesting to see how they ll behave as seniors. I do hope they become good seniors..
Yup, and at the end of e dae, i reminded myself again of the kind of leader which i strived to be. The kind who helps others to be leaders themselves, and the kind who after the work is done, will have the people remarking tat it was they who have done it themselves. It is a vision and something not easy for me to achieve, but a challenge to myself. I still believe todae that only Ps really understand how it feels like to be experiencing so many funny n complex feelings during fop period, and i do wonder how my successor in future will cope with it. =)
N so i continue to walk on...
| HOCK C r u i s e d A t 6:04 AM |
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Wah, the last few daes have been really hectic and tiring man. Slept only a few hours each dae..and not becoz of the World cup.
Mail run finally settled and sent out le, and so much earlier than last yr! Phew, thats a great relief.. ^_^ now is to wait for the new freshies to open their mailbox and call little india le haha..i realize i m more excited bout this yr's Arts Camp in a different way...as in, i m really keen to see the new incoming freshies, and to spot for potential talents who might be interested in running for Arts Club..and at the same time, i m really excited to see how the rest of the 26th wud behave as seniors, or lao laos as they like to call me, bobsie, and rayner haha..
Once Arts Camp starts, there's no turning back le..they ll no longer be freshies..they ll be seniors in the eyes of the new incoming freshies..and most likely they ll see how they themselves had behaved 1 year ago haha..when u re a senior, sometimes its like looking into a mirror, seeing things/mistakes/achievements tat u yrself has made as a freshie...
There were a few really tough and heavy decisions to be made in the last few daes, which partly explains the hecticness and fatigue i feel. Decisions result in consequences which in turn result in taking up responsibility for these consequences. Therefore, before making them, one has to really process the thoughts, pros and cons, of those decisions.
A lot of people around has been feeling tired and down recently. Looking at them reminds me of myself last yr, who felt xian and disappointed at various stages with MC life, particularly during Sem 2 where there re so many projects and before Arts Camp..and of coz, when various personal factors including relationship with friends, gf/bfs, family, etc get strained....I do hope and pray that these people can find the meaning and rainbow behind what they re doing 1 day...I found mine on the last dae of Arts Camp 2005..hmmm..i hope they can find theirs too... =) to each his own...
| HOCK C r u i s e d A t 3:17 AM |
Sunday, June 18, 2006
MY 301ST BLOG POST!!!
I trust my Libra instinct a lot, and it tells me this:
"We are going to have the biggest Arts Camp in years!!!"
Already 130 freshies signed up with 1 week to go!!! This news really made my dae!
And with people gradually checking their mailbox and receiving the mailrun, a lot more will come...
1 week to go..and my blood is boiling excitedly again..
| HOCK C r u i s e d A t 2:54 AM |
Friday, June 23, 2006
We have 288 freshies signing up for Arts Camp!!! WOOHOOO!! Thats like the biggest camp in years!!
And that's almost one fifth of the entire Arts fac freshie population le!!
What can i say?? I m delighted!! =) And really excited!!
As i was telling xiaohong, this ll augur well for the future of the Club, esp the 27th MC, and the few batches beyond..more freshies sign up ll mean higher rate of future raggers, o-weekers, Arts Club affiliates, and hopefully more people running for 27th MC! =p
Thats why Arts Camp's so important!! Coz it ll affect the future a lot a lot!
Really happy! This is great news! Thank god for the early mail run this year! And the wonderful efforts of the PR Team led by Shuning!
| HOCK C r u i s e d A t 12:48 AM
Monday, June 26, 2006
Its 3 hours to Arts Camp 2006.... :)
What can i say?
POOF!
May the legend continue... =)
| HOCK C r u i s e d A t 4:13 AM |
Saturday, July 08, 2006
POST DATED AS OF 1ST JULY 2006:
Haha, before everyone knows it, Arts Camp, and 6 months of hard work and preparations is over...sometimes its quite scary how time really flies...
Everybody's asking me why i didnt cry this year at the end of the Camp, sort of like expecting me to cry....haha..
hmmm..i also been asking myself that question leh..ever since the last dae..haha, but i figured its just different la..coz last yr maybe i was the pd, and it was like really my baby..and i felt a lot a lot more for it..not saying i dun feel for this year's camp but its just that the feeling's different, and its natural actually. =) Every camp has its own memories and its own sweetness...
I also felt that in general, last yr everyone was much much more emotionally attached to their OG, House, and the entire camp, based on a lot of feedback as well..but as i told quite a lot of people during the camp, every yr there are different pros and cons...and new adventures =) Artstasy'05 was wonderful in a certain way, but so was Poof'06 wonderful in another way. And the main prob that this year's com had to juggle with was the weight of 250 plus freshies..almost 100 more than last year's, which created a lot of extra problems.
Eg, harder to bond the large OG, larger House, buffer time needs to be longer, harder to give briefing or capture people's attention, harder to have crowd control, dynamics of programs also altered (sometimes unforseen), SP partners affected, councilors ratio affected, etc etc...
Yupz, and as i told xiao hong and little india, with every event or Arts Club project comes lessons which we can all learn and improve upon for future years... =p Perhaps next yr we shouldnt accept too big a number of freshies as well? A lot of food for thought for many lessons..
All in all, i felt the O Com did very well..i ve seen a lot of new faces, who have proven themselves..as well as old faces who are still up to the mark. Pleasantly surprised and impressed with people like Kelvin, Peiyong, Kidd, Benedict, Bingjie, Leon..and i m really glad to know all of them better after this camp..
Arts Camp always has the power to reinforce old friendships and create new ones..that's why it is so beautiful. =)
My role during the Camp this yr is significantly different from last yr, but 1 which, i personally enjoyed as well. Supporting the com and the people at the top, while gathering feedback and knowing lots of new people and potential Club affiliates and friends at the ground level. Phew, it sure wasnt easy juggling presidential duties with OGL duties..I couldnt relax myself properly for the Camp for the 1st 2 days, coz my mind keeps thinking of the visit by the Macau student leaders...Was glad everything went well in the end for the visit..
I had a great time with my beloved OG Shakira, and of coz with the Sagani House..Diff camps always have diff pros and cons yeah.. =)
Another happy and heartwarming thing i felt from the Camp, was to see most of the freshies last yr brought in FOP '05 returning as seniors and councilors. It was good to see the 26th MC members step up as well..haha..although i feel some of them are not used to being lao laos yet..
Yupz, have a lot a lot of other thoughts as well..but think i ll just keep them to myself...
Everydae i think of 12th August...RAG DAY!!!
| HOCK C r u i s e d A t 1:20 AM |
