Memories...
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
FINALLY SOME SILVERWARE AGAIN!!!
i thought the gesture by the team to wear a shirt dedicated to alan smith was great and real sweet.
Hopefully united can take this victory as a great springboard and move on further from here..time to beef up the midfield and the new generation..
great to see park starting in the united team again..to see a fellow asian playing in united team is really heart-warming man..fans all around the world ll always rem how park and lee yong byo tore apart the milan defence in last yr s champions league semi-final. Hopefully he ll blossom even greater under fergie..
could this be the start of a wonderful week?
haha, i wonder...
Sunday, February 26, 2006
worked at dxo on fri for an event where the guest of honour was PM Lee..lim swee say and lim boon heng were there as well..bryan wong and kym ng were the hosts and haha, kym is hmm..bigger in real life than on screen? Anyway, it was interesting getting up close with the ministers when i have studied so much about them in my political science modules..haha..
a few of my old frenz have spotted me on a tv mobile segment, haha! Yep its me alright..was just helping out yuyan's friend..
suffering from a severe lack of sleep these few daes..phew..my schedules are totally packed to the brim..including weekends..
THE 13 KINDS OF PEOPLE I DUN LIKE OR RESPECT:
1) People who have issues with me and talk behind my back, but yet in front of me, they act all goody-two-shoes and try and get into my good books. Afraid to speak to me? Then dun talk behind my back, when u dun even dare to address me directly.
2) People who, without thinking deeper, jump to conclusions promptly instead of clarifying with me.
3) Point 2 people, whom after jumping into conclusions, seek to influence those around them, establishing negative mutual reinforcement.
4) People who think in shallow terms, and conveniently link issues or personnel together, when at times there is no link at all. And at other times, the link is simply based on those people's own perceptions.
5) People who open their mouth first before they use their brain to think.
6) People who criticize for the sake of criticizing. When thrown in a similiar situation and similiar shoes, these people cant do it themselves. Moral of the story? : Before slamming others, try putting yrself in the other person's shoes first. What would you have done differently and how would you go about doing it?
7) People who think that not being around physically means you re not doing work.
8) People who THINK that they know the whole story when in fact they dun. Note the word "THINK".
9) People whom, after being told of the reasons behind certain decisions in a rationale way, and realizing that they have no counter-argument or that they did indeed overlook these reasons, choose to say things like "Aiyah, whatever lah. After all, you are always right, whatever i say u will just cast aside while justifying yrself." This is a very easy and convenient way of deflecting yr own mistakes and allowing yrself not to admit yr neglience or apologize.
10) People who fail to see the big picture.
11) People who refuse to apologize even though they know subconsciously that they were wrong but refused to admit it becoz of their pride.
12) People who are stuck in their own time-zone and cant grow up, and cant adapt.
13) People who fail to learn from their mistakes. Certainly all men will make mistakes, but if u dun learn from yr mistakes, u will be condemned in the contemporary world.
*Disclaimer*: The above 13 points are very general sole views of mine, and are not targetted at any particular person at all. Any big over-reaction from the reader will indicate that you have committed points 2, 4 and 8. :p
Friday, February 24, 2006
wah biang..
not easy man...phew..
slogging in the clubroom now..with a tutorial presentation later..my first one of 2006..duh..i m totally not ready damn.
i dun consider this a mid-term break at all man..in fact this is the most sucky mid-term break for me among the 4 sems in nus so far..
my com is so stretched out now..we are like the American armed forces in what we term "imperial over-stretch"..really hope that each of them finds the inner strength and belief needed to pull through this hectic and testing period..the other day i was looking thru the minutes of past MCs from the 22nd batch onwards..and i realize that never before has any Management Com embarked on so many projects and new ventures before..unknown to many, not even jianghao's famed 22nd..but of coz, quantity does not necessarily equals to quality so we gotta be careful too..sometimes i feel really guilty and bad in a sense for pushing my com so much, but i really hope that each of them will be able to leave behind a legacy that future generations will be proud of..and where future generations can look up to...just like how people have always looked up to the 22nd..
i still believe in what i felt when we stepped up in sept last yr..and what i told many seniors who didnt believe in this group of young, inexperienced, but vibrant and passionate student leaders:
"Never judge a com when it first steps up, for it has nothing at the beginning, only dreams and visions. Judge a com when it steps down, for it has everything to prove u wrong."
To my dearest 26th..Rayner, Bobsie, Meiyi, Ruby, JJ, xiaohong, lacy, bit bit, eileen, guan guan, gandhi, shifty, little india, jackson, lau kay..if anyone of u is reading this right now, just wanna tell u to bite yr tongue, lift yr head high and jia you k.
We are all in this together....
Even after we step down..... :)
Here we go again:
"Do not go where the path may lead. Go where there is no path and leave a trail...."
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
hmmm..obviously the dragon didnt know how to use the pedestrian crossing...coz the crossing was just beside it when it slumbered across the road..and guess what, there was this queue of vehicles patiently waiting for it to cross haha
sometimes ignorance is bliss isnt it..
Monday, February 20, 2006
was super exhausted after my work on sat night..havent slept much the past week..and i guess it was an accumulation of all the fatigue..problems on a macro, micro, and personal level.
a peaceful sunday was therefore greatly welcome.
But now, back to business again..
Some of my dear friends are having problems this period..really hope that all of u are ok ya..and if u need to talk, i m most willing to listen and do whatever i can to help..
Sometimes things arent as simple as what they seem to be.
Friday, February 17, 2006
when i ask u what worse can come the other day, wah biang you really gave me an answer haha! Things just seem to grow worse and worse with each passing day. And you seriously left me wondering what else further lie in store.
But God, i understand this is your challenge to me to rise up to the occasion, and i shall not disappoint you.
I will fight on. :>
coz I m Hock.
The Incredible Hock.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
.......
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Thank you Sara Paddison.
You can mock my every word.
You can call me what you want.
You can distort what i said and do.
You can stab me in the back.
You can kick me when i m down.
But you cannot take my will
To forgive and forget
To love and cherish.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
the 5 words which my friend put in his sms to me just keeps flashing in my mind. Keeps going around my head.
those words really disturb me. Am i really what like what he said i am? And it came as a complete shock to me, becoz i was genuinely concerned about him when i called and messaged him. And i have tried my best to defend and protect him ever since the beginning..just like the rest. Ever since Aug 05.
I always thought, always believe i ll make a good president.
But i thought really hard and long tonight, and realize that i was wrong.
I m just a crude person who ll never make a good president, as much as i try.
Its true. I ruined the night, a night which is supposed to be genuinely happy and a good time for bonding.
And i dun even feel like explaining my views or what exactly i said anymore or what was behind the scenes anymore. People will just feel that i m trying to justify myself.
Should i just simply relax, sit back, and be popular? After all, no president has ever been popular during their stay in office..rudy..kelvin..steven..
Am i too work-oriented? Too hard on others? Too demanding? Too harsh?
I think so...
i realize tonight that i am not as strong as i thought i was. its e 1st time i ever broke a jug or any form of glassware while working as a waiter, a symbolic act to me.
maybe i shouldnt have re-run... I should have just step down and enjoy life with 25th..
i would have been much happier. Why should i subject myself to endless misunderstandings, criticisms and heartaches..
Sometimes i do things for the future, or for the bigger picture..
Sometimes i wonder if people were in my shoes, what wud they have done themselves? How wud they have reacted before criticizing me?
Sigh.
I m Tired.
Tired of trying to explain. Tired of having good intentions yet being potrayed as unreasonable, demanding.
I m Helpless.
Helpless when others choose to make their own conclusions without clarifying matters with me.
I m Angry.
Angry with myself and my own incapabilities.
I m Disillusioned.
Disillusioned that things have to turn out this way.
I hate this kind of feeling..
Dear God, what should i do?
Maybe u were right after all...I m not fit to be in this post and I shouldnt have re-run.
But there's 1 thing which i m right.
Happiness doesnt last for me.
I knew it.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
| Your Birthdate: October 17 |
 You tend to find yourself lucky - both in business and in life. And while being wealthy is nice, you enjoy sharing your abundance with others. You put your luck to good use: you are very ambitious and goal oriented. Often times, you get over excited and take on more than you can manage. Your strength: Your ability to make your own luck Your weakness: Thinking you can do it all Your power color: Bronze Your power symbol: Half Moon Your power month: August |
| Your Career Type: Enterprising |
 You are engertic, ambitious, and sociable. Your talents lie in politics, leading people, and selling things or ideas. You would make an excellent: Auctioneer - Bank President - Camp Director City Manager - Judge - Lawyer Recreation Leader - Real Estate Agent - Sales Person School Principal - Travel Agent - TV Newscaster The worst career options for your are investigative careers, like mathematician or architect. |
| You Should Get a JD (Juris Doctor) |
 You're logical, driven, and ruthless. You'd make a mighty fine lawyer. |
| Your Love Life Secrets Are |
 Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves. You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't? It's important to you that your lover is very attractive. You like to have someone to show off. In fights, you love to debate and defend yourself. You logic prevails - or at least you'd like to think so. A break-up usually comes as a shock to you. You always think things are going well. |
| You Were a Wolf |
 You have an instinctual intelligence that guides your life. Your family and "pack" is of primary importance, and you protect them. |
| You Are 32% Addicted to Love |
 Might as well face it, you're a little addicted to love. You won't do anything for love, but sometimes you do more than you should. No one's worth losing your head for - because in the end you'll only lose your heart. Don't avoid falling in love. Just make sure you don't get too hooked. |
Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover |
 You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires. And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek. You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships. It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is. |
| The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic |
 Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few. But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky. Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski |
| The Keys to Your Heart |
 You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
| Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage |
 You've dated enough to know what you want. And that's marriage - with the right person. You're serious about settling down some time soon. Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to! |
| Your Life Path Number is 3 |
 Your purpose in life is to express your unique self. You are a creative and artistic person with an interesting view on life. Witty and outgoing, you enjoy sharing your crazy ideas with anyone who will listen. A total social butterfly, you're the life of any party. In love, you inspire and enchant your partner. You are often an object of fantasy and desire. While you are very talented, you sometimes lack the ambition to put your talents in play. And while your wit carries you a long way, you occasionally use it to mask your true feelings. Your natural abilities can bring you all the success in the world ... if you let them |
| Your Power Color Is Magenta |
 At Your Highest: You energize yourself and push others to suceed. At Your Lowest: You feel frustrated and totally overwhelmed. In Love: You are suprised by who you attract. You're a love magnet. How You're Attractive: Open and free spirited, people want to explore the world with you. Your Eternal Question: "What is my next source of inspiration?" |
| What Your Face Says |
 At first glance, people see you as warm and well-balanced. Overall, your true self is passionate and physical. With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react. In love, you seem intelligent and a bit intimidating. In stressful situations, you seem cheerful and optimistic. |
| You Are Chinese Food |
 Exotic yet ordinary. People think they've had enough of you, but they're back for more in an hour. |
| You Are a Mai Tai |
 You aren't a big drinker, but you'll drink if the atmosphere is festive. And when you're drunk, watch out! You're easily carried away. |
| You're a Romantic Kisser |
 For you, kissing is all about feeling the romance You love to kiss under the stars or by the sea The perfect kiss involves the perfect mood It's pretty common for kisses to sweep you off your feet |
| How You Life Your Life |
 You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations. You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly. You have one big dream in your life, and you never lose sight of it. |
| You Are Karamel Sutra |
 Plain on the outside, but once someone gets in, they're stuck |
Monday, February 06, 2006
This chap here is Peter, the man who knows how to repair my wife. haha..oh well, got her all fixed up last week after she fell sick. Ma chiam like coughing lydat, the engine keep stuttering..anyway she 's fine now and woa, she 's purring much better than ever before...the engine sounds much smoother now..and overall she's more powerful now..makes for a much better ride.
Cant seem to be able to sleep ugh..
Sunday, February 05, 2006
bash 1 is over..
bike quest is over...
website's ready.. (www.nusartsclub.org..go support it yeah? :) )
cny charity collection and visit over..
new noticeboards and club banner..
not to mention last sem's projects..
lotsa other events coming up..blogfest..foodhunt..arena..v-day bazaar..insom (cant wait for this issue to be released, realli looks good)..beach vball..arts bazaar..arts quiz..traditional games fiesta..isis charity drive..arts vital..
and the march to fop continues all this while...
arts camp..o week..matric..flag..bash 2..and of coz..rag..
i was riding home last fri night..it was realli heartwarming to see people like jianwu, keyou, paul, alvin, yuimin, gerri..old hands who joined forces with new blood of Rag..guan guan, jingyi..ayumi..lionel..rachael..yuanmei..
it felt like old times once again..back at the Rag house...and i cannot ever recall any arts club rag com starting so much work so early...
can feel the excitement..before don left, he asked me about this year's Rag..and i told him all the stuff the com has been doing so far..he was realli cursing and xian that he couldnt be down for this year 's rag..but he told me he ll be supporting us in australia somehow..haha..
and before he went into the departure hall, the last thing this wonderful person, friend, arts club member, and ragger did was to thrust $10 into my hands.
"Take it, hock, and win it this year."
I didnt decline him.
It may be a mere $10..but as any ragger will tell you. Every bit, from every single person counts.
I cannot forget Rag 2005, when the winner was announced to be Science Club..their crowd went ecstatic..their Dean and staff were overjoyed..their people, tons of freshies among them, went delirious, went crazy. Their rag com and leaders broke down..Big grown men standing above the crowd, crying. This is how much it means to them.
At least 6 months of hard work for that one 5 min presentation.
For that one day.
For that one moment.
For that one priceless moment u ll never forget for the rest of your life.
I had mine on the last day of Arts Camp 05.
And i want to do everything i can when i am in my position to generate and create these moments for the new generation of Arts Club leaders...
So that 1 day they too, will carry on the baton, and pass on these moments to future generations.
Leaders come and leaders leave, but what will always remain is the Club.
....When i was riding back halfway on Fri night, i dreamt that we won Rag...i dreamt of delirious joyous scenes of celebrations....
Will we really do it...?
The dream continues.....
I dream too, in fact quite a couple of times, of how each and every single one of 26th will be like come fop 2006...sometimes when i think of it, i smile to myself..i smile at how excited it will get them..esp the girls haha..i smile becoz i can oredi picture them cheering and leading the new generation of freshies..i smile becoz i wonder how they ll react when 1 day, they suddenly realize that they r no longer freshies, no longer newbies, but seasoned seniors..who ll then have much greater powers and responsibilities which they must know how to manage well.
I smile to myself when people tell me that they wont re-run, becoz i felt the exact same way too last yr at certain periods. But when they have not been thru fop, they ll not understand why.
and before i know it..elections..rop camp..agm...thank you dinner... My long-awaited thank you speech...
Job s done.
And i will ride off into the sunset...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was actually a bittersweet day for me yesterdae during Bike Quest. On 1 hand, i was really happy that we managed to get 35 teams in the end, and that everything went smoothly, and i was realli realli glad to see so many new affiliates and new blood. I was happy to see everyone enjoying themselves, from the participants to the com members..
But deep down inside, i was very upset as well. Which i didnt show.
My good old buddy don whom i have known for 6 years since j1 has left for Australia for exchange yesterdae, and quite possibly, i wont see him for 2 years.
Donny and i been thru a lot together, and he did many many uncountable things for me. I ll always treasure the letter he gave me during thank you dinner last yr when i stepped up..
He was 1 of the few i could have a good long conversation with, becoz we knew each other realli well, and one of the few friends whom i could share my problems and sensitive confidential issues with. Haha..yesh and we realli like to niao each other..a very very selfless, humble and funny friend haha..
And we always have this mutual respect for each other..and one of the greatest things i liked about him is that he's a very non-judgemental person..there were days when i ll just call him and talk lotsa cock and shared problems..over lunch as well..
I wrote a letter back to him for him to open on the plane back, and added in a photo of the 2 of us, taken during dec 2004 the candle project. I wished him well, and was glad in a way for him..because he's studying something he likes, and i m positive he ll have a great career next time with his excellent results..
I have lost another 1 of my few friends those whom i could share heart-to-heart problems with...not many remain.
I was very torn yesterdae as well, becoz i was worried for the initial setting up of the bike quest stuff..realli quite fang4 xin1 bu4 xia4..and wanted to stay first at ecp until everything's done nicely before i leave for the airport to send off don..but i didnt have time due to his flight timing..and the least i could do for don i feel at this point of time, was to bid him a proper farewell..
he looked relaxed at the airport..we talked a bit..sent him off..and i rushed back to ecp..
steven is right..it is very lonely at the top..unfortuantely there are a lot of things and problems which i cannot share or reveal to my own com members even if i wanted to..
lately i ve realized that i ve changed from who i used to be..read thru some of my past blogs and realized that..some things i discover is that i keep a lot more things to myself..i prefer more personal privacy and sometimes i ll rather stay at home and have a quiet rest than go out and bang wham slam..i am not as loud or joyful as the past..i have a slight remembrance that someone used to call me Happy Hock...cant imagine tat being said on me now haha..
and the most serious problem or change i think i have is that...
i actually feel guilty when i m happy.
There's this feeling inside me that whatever happiness i get will only be short-lived.
So much that at times when i m happy, i tell myself it cannot be, or that it wont last.
Is there a name for a syndrome like this? Or maybe its due to scars of the heart from my past?
My smiles and laughter may never be as pure as the past anymore.
I m not the happy, carefree, cheeky, noisy, brash hocky i use to be. Glimpses of it come out down and then, but....
Deep down,
Somewhere,
Somehow,
I seem to have lost it.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
This is baby me when i was a kid. Notice that my big eyes and sharp nose are still as similiar as before haha!
Yeah..anyway look out for this kid. One day he ll be a millionaire hee :)
fooling around :p heh
This is a pic roughly 1 year ago when i had long hair, look much thinner, leaner and darker haha!
yah, i know, some of u cant stand me with long hair..but hey, i always believe every guy should at least ride a bike and have long hair once in his lifetime. Heh, these are 2 things a man may never be able to do and have when he's older (coz u ll be working, driving and balding)... So u shud do it when ya young yeah? :)
haha, i m having fun uploading pics on my blog...
this one's from ARTS BASH 1
