Memories...
Thursday, April 20, 2006
FROM HAPPINESS TO XIANNESS..
I was absolutely delighted on tues coz..
1) Insomniac s finally here and e printed copy looks great! Glad that it received a lot of good reviews from many people and friends..certainly the best issue so far!
2) I got an A- for International Security essay and A for Singapore Foreign Policy by Alan Chong. All those 10 days of essaying paid off! And the best feeling is that according to old birds, alan chong rarely gives As..so it was really a great honour for me..and collectively gave me more confidence for my preparations for e final exams..
3) I had a little quarrel on mondae..but in e end things were resolved well.. :)
Then, i got xian todae coz...
For my contemporary chinese politics essay, which i put in tons of effort as well, my lecturer gave me a B- . When i went to consult him over how to improve my essay and to learn from my mistakes, as i couldnt see any crosses or mistakes which he laid out, he told me the main reason why he gave that grade was coz he suspected me of plagarism, and u know why? Coz he said i didnt put any of his essential list of readings in my citations!
I was peeved, but i decided to hold back first, for i have a lot of respect for senior and experienced lecturers, and i see no point in arguing with him..what made me really annoyed was that he felt that the reason why i didnt include his list of citations (which includes some of his own writings) was coz i felt they were useless and invaluable! I felt this accusation was really unjustified, and wanted to bring my point across which was that if everybody uses the same text or readings he proposed, then wouldnt most people end up writing the same or similiar stuff? If this is the case, wouldnt it be hard for a student to bring across an alternative or refreshing view/insight, necessary to score an A?
And the thing is that despite not using his sources, i did went to the library to do my own research, and borrowed almost 20 related books! Those of u who have seen my "throne" in the clubroom wud have seen the amount of books laid out haha..and i put in a lot of effort to cite from these materials..further more, he allowed us to set our own questions for e essay, and my question was perfectly legitimate and relevant to the module.
Then he accuses me of not using materials from his lecture notes, and i tried to explain to him i did..becoz HALO, my main thesis was constructed based on his lect notes, and one's thesis is naturally the most impt point of any essay or intellectual product..
All this while, i wasnt able or rather, ALLOWED to put my point across coz everytime i tried to explain my viewpoint, eg about using fresh research materials, he interrupts me, and tells me that he is busy and still in the midst of marking 2 other essays, or he shakes his head before i could finish speaking, cuts me off half-way, and reiterates his own point again.
I can accept it if a lecturer criticizes me on the basis of poor writing style, shortage of facts, out of point, lack of counter-arguments, grammar etc..but i cannot accept it based on his argument of not using his selected readings. Isnt it part of a lecturer's job to promote a university student's critical and independent thinking, to encourage a student to know how to conduct his own research and present his own independent analysis and viewpoint? I have seen people who did not do any research at all, but simply churn and "fake" their biblio and citations from the lecturerer's list of readings. It makes me wonder now, whether he's indirectly trying to encourage this.
I m not even sure whether this is a "mistake" which i have to learn from. I did the exact same essay preparations for my other 2 PS modules, and i aced them, so it is clear to me that it is not about poor writing style or shortage of facts etc.
It also irritates me that the lecturer chose to brush aside what i have to say, and gives me the feeling that he's too busy to review my paper or listen to what i have to say.
At the end of the dae though, what i should just do is to accept the reality and move on. Had a little chat with jianwu, and we figured its just the nature of the module and the lecturer..Somehow comparative politics and public administration just seem to be more rigid, unlike political theory and international relations. Yup, thats why IR is still my fave.
In any case, preparations for exams for me have been getting more and more relaxing as the sems go by. Haha! I m not sure thats a good or bad sign though! ahaha..i head into this sem's exams most unprepared compared to the past 3 sems, but yet most relaxed and unfazed. anyway, no president has ever been worried or kan chiong bout exams, neither am i.
At the back of my head, i just keep thinking bout post-exam plans, and esp FOP heh. Great times and fun lie ahead hee..but for now...
Oh btw, i am also thinking of whether to sign up for student mentorship programme (to aid sec1 mentees for an entire yr), as part of my post-stepdown commitments haha..i ll love to give something back to the young and the society, to give more guidance and talk sense to youths todae. But its a 1 year commitment thing..so i ll have to think carefully bout it..def interested in trying this though.
